East London charm

Guy: Hey. Do you recognise me? We met at that conference...

Me: Sorry. Which conference?

Guy: You know.

Me: Sorry....

Guy: Only messing with you. I just wanted to say 'hi' cos I think you're pretty. Where are you going?

Me: The Aladdin.

Guy: To meet your boyfriend?

Me: No.

Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?

Me: No.

Guy: Do you want a boyfriend?

Me: No. I have a girlfriend.

Guy: Really? That's amazing!

Me: (hint of anger in my voice) Why's that amazing?

Guy: Can I have your number?

Me: Umm... No!

Guy: Why not?

Me: I don't think my girlfriend would like it.

Guy: She can come too.

Me: I definitely don't think she'd like that.

Guy: Well, maybe I could just come and watch?

I give him a filthy look and walk away.


I know it wouldn't have changed his bigoted, homophobic, skank views, but I wish I'd stayed and explained to him how offensive that was. I also wish I'd called him an imaginative compound swear-word.